9 types of relationships and how to keep them healthy

There is a nearly endless variety in the types of relationships you may encounter throughout your life. These connections are highly likely to influence who you become as a person and how you view the world. 

Because of the impact relationships can have on you, it’s important to understand the basics of each relationship type and how they fit into your day-to-day life. For example, you may interact with a coworker much differently than with a relative. Similarly, a romantic partner may see a different side of you than some of your friends see. 

Learning more about the most common types of interpersonal relationships can help keep each relationship type healthy and fulfilling.

What qualifies as a relationship?

The word “relationship” can have any number of meanings. One person may prefer to save the term strictly for a romantic partnership, while others consider any type of ongoing human connection a relationship. 

According to Merriam-Webster, one definition of a relationship is “a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings.” Another refers to it as “a romantic or passionate attachment.” Clearly, plenty of interactions or partnerships can fall within these definitions. 

You might say you have a working relationship with a colleague in the office or a friendship with a new neighbor you recently bonded with. No matter how you prefer to categorize them, the repeated, long-term interactions and personal connections you have with people in your life can each be considered a relationship.

• Acquaintances. An acquaintance can be anyone from a coworker to a neighbor or even someone you routinely make small talk with at your local grocery store. These relationships tend to be relatively surface-level since you generally don’t spend quality time with these people outside the typical circumstances.
• Friends. Your friends are people with whom you likely have common interests or values and with whom you choose to spend quality time. Making friends as an adult can be difficult, but friendships often provide crucial support systems and feelings of companionship most of us need.   

• Family. Family can sometimes be tricky to define, especially if you aren’t close with your biological relatives. Rather than just including the people in your bloodline, a chosen family of important people in your life can provide the sense of unconditional love and support that typically comes from people like parents or siblings. 

• Romantic partners. There are a number of structures and styles that romantic partnerships can follow. However, a general definition of a romantic relationship is someone with whom you share mutual attraction and affection, whether romantic, sexual, or both.  

Platonic relationships most commonly refer to connections that don’t include romantic or sexual involvement. However, platonic connections still exist on an intimacy spectrum, as they naturally vary in closeness and vulnerability. While some platonic relationships are fairly superficial, they can also be deep, emotional, and intimate.

Some people might only consider platonic relationships those they share with friends and coworkers, while others may choose to share their lives with a platonic life partner. People in a platonic life partnership may do things like buy a home, co-parent children, and combine finances or make legal decisions together. 

Casual relationships

Sometimes casual relationships are as simple as the name suggests. In other cases, a casual romantic or sexual relationship may feel confusing or ambiguous for those involved.  

For some couples, starting with a casual connection while dating is one of the standard stages of a relationship. It can mean spending limited time together, not feeling the need to communicate consistently via text or phone calls, or seeing other people. Other couples might end up in a casual relationship if one person has stronger feelings or there isn’t effective communication about where the relationship is headed. 

If you have a clear vision of what you want in a romantic relationship and are dating to find a long-term partner, a casual relationship may not be the best option for you.

Dating relationships

Similar to casual relationships, a dating relationship can look very different from couple to couple. The current definition of a typical dating relationship is one that forms between two people who go on dates and spend time getting to know each other. Dating helps them decide whether they are compatible and want to move forward in a romantic relationship. 

Monogamous relationships

Monogamous relationships are the most common type of romantic connection, especially in marriages and long-term partnerships. Monogamy indicates that two romantic and/or sexual partners don’t engage in that kind of connection with other people. Instead, they remain committed to their singular partnership.  

Open relationships (consensual non-monogamy)

Open or consensually non-monogamous relationships have become more common in recent years. A 2020 report by Pew Research found that 32% of adults in the US said open relationships are sometimes or always acceptable, regardless of whether they would personally choose to engage in one. 

Open relationships can be vastly different from one to another. Generally speaking, the term indicates a mutual agreement that either one or both people can date or share physical intimacy with others outside the primary pair. For some people, having trust and freedom in an open dynamic provides a much-needed feeling of autonomy in a relationship. 

Polyamorous relationships

Polyamory falls under the umbrella of open relationships and ethical non-monogamy, but a polyamorous relationship tends to follow a more specific structure than an open relationship. Polyamorous people may have several romantic relationships that are long-term and romantic rather than casually sexual. 

Polyamorous relationships can be those in which more than two people participate in a singular relationship. They can also be those where each person in a couple has other known romantic and sexual partners. 

The collection of people connected by these various relationships is called a “polycule.” This group might involve multiple interconnected sexual and romantic connections, but that doesn’t mean all members of the polycule are dating one another. 

Nesting relationships

If you and your partner(s) live together, an increasingly common term for your relationship might be a “nesting” partnership. While “nesting partner” is a common term in polyamory, a monogamous couple that lives together is also considered to be in a nesting partnership. Even having a platonic life partnership is considered a nesting relationship. Nesting partners only need to live together and aren’t necessarily sexually involved or sharing a sleeping space. 

Asexual relationships

Asexuality is an identity that falls under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. Someone who is asexual typically doesn’t have sexual attraction to other people. But this, like many relationship concepts, can exist on a spectrum. 

Asexuality doesn’t mean there aren’t ways two people can deepen their relationship. Fostering a strong emotional and/or romantic connection with someone can feel as intimate as being sexually involved with them. Asexual people still benefit from closeness and relationship dynamics despite often having little interest in sex.

Long-distance relationships

A long-distance relationship is one between partners who are generally in different geographical locations. The idea of “long” distance can be subjective, however. Some couples consider their relationship to be a long-distance one if they live in different countries. Others may feel they’re in a long-distance relationship if they have to drive an hour or more to see each other.  

If red flags in a relationship pop up or you have trouble setting boundaries at work or in your personal life, relationships may become toxic over time. While the term has become a trendy buzzword on social media, it can still be challenging to determine if any of your relationships have some toxicity. 

One important distinguishing feature is that “toxic” generally implies some form of emotional abuse in a relationship. Research refers to emotional abuse in an intimate relationship through certain behaviors, such as when your partner isolates you, degrades you, abuses you sexually, and/or causes property damage.

If you suspect that you’re dealing with an emotionally abusive partner, there is a helpful questionnaire you can take and review with a coach or counselor to discuss your situation and how to move forward. 

Here are a few key signs of a toxic relationship you should be aware of:

Disrespecting boundaries

Boundaries are a cornerstone of healthy relationships. Rather than demanding your partner or relative behave a certain way, boundaries aren’t set for the other person. Instead, you set them for yourself. 

Say your partner sometimes belittles you during disagreements. A healthy boundary could be telling them you will take space from the argument if you start to feel put down rather than listened to. Instead of trying to get them to change how they speak when they’re upset, your boundary allows you to focus on yourself by walking away. 

In a toxic relationship, you’ll often find that your boundaries are consistently not respected, or that they aren’t even set in the first place. 

Emotional manipulation

Gaslighting and love bombing are examples of emotional manipulation. If your partner insults you during a disagreement or makes you question your feelings or perspective when you raise a concern, they are engaging in manipulative behavior.

Codependency

When you’re in a codependent relationship with someone, your happiness depends on the attention and presence of your partner, and sometimes vice versa. Codependency is common in people who deal with an anxious attachment style. This means that they deal with ongoing anxiety, worries about emotional abandonment, and often insecurity or jealousy when they feel distance or disconnection from a partner.

An unhealthy amount of jealousy

Jealousy is a natural human response and can sometimes be normal in a relationship. Jealousy becomes toxic when it comes from a place of envy, comparison, or possessiveness. Toxic jealousy may cause you to feel the need to control your partner or mistrust them unnecessarily.

Dishonesty

Not everyone has the same definition of lying, so whether you consider white lies OK or feel that lying by omission is ultimately lying is up to you. If you notice that your partner is frequently being dishonest with you or hiding things that they know would upset you, this could be an indication of toxic traits in a relationship.

All relationships take work and energy to keep them healthy and mutually beneficial. Engaging in relationship-building behaviors or activities can be a great way to promote a joyful relationship dynamic. Your daily habits and mindset can also make a huge difference in the health of your relationships. 

Here are some tips for keeping all your relationships healthy:

Green flags in a relationship include trust, mutual respect, and shared values. Whether you want to improve your romantic partnership, set boundaries at work, or strengthen your bonds with your family, the most important thing in all types of relationships is that you care. 

If building joyful and fulfilling relationships is your goal, seeking advice from a professional coach can help. Connect with a BetterUp Coach to improve the relationships in your life and become a better partner, coworker, friend, and leader.