Do you use maladaptive behavior? 8 ways to live more fully

There’s a difference between finding ways to cope with uncomfortable situations and developing maladaptive behavior that holds you back from living your life to the fullest.

Once you recognize maladaptive behaviors, you can take steps toward self-improvement, regain your well-being, and achieve long-term success. Discover how to identify these behaviors and strategies to overcome them.

Someone who manages their anxiety with a behavior like binge eating, for example, is participating in maladaptive behavior. This situation is similar to one in which someone doesn’t show up for work because they’re afraid to drive in traffic.

However, maladaptive behavior should not be confused with neurotic or idiosyncratic behavior. Neurotic behavior happens when someone is in an intensely negative or anxious emotional state, whereas idiosyncratic behavior is unique, personal, and usually harmless. Wearing mismatched socks because you like the quirkiness of your outfit is idiosyncratic and doesn’t interfere with your daily life. On the other hand, avoiding all social situations is maladaptive because that avoidance ultimately makes you feel lonelier.

Adaptive vs. maladaptive behavior

Adaptive behavior is the opposite of maladaptive behavior. Adaptive behaviors are practical, social, or conceptual skills that help people function daily. 

Being able to dress, feed yourself, bathe, communicate, make friends, create a budget, get on a bus, or cook a meal are all examples of adaptive behavior. They allow you to be independent and social and are crucial for caring for yourself in any environment.

Adaptive behaviors are healthy coping mechanisms, whereas maladaptive coping behaviors are unhealthy or ineffective.

One study suggests that adaptive behaviors can shift to maladaptive behaviors depending on the context. Take avoiding a social situation, for example. Learning how to say no is not automatically a bad thing when going out with friends. If avoiding social situations becomes the norm, though, and ultimately makes your social anxiety worse, it becomes maladaptive.

Some types of therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques and exposure therapy, aim to reverse this process by replacing maladaptive behaviors with adaptive ones. Another study shows that exposure therapy can be quite effective at reducing maladaptive coping behaviors and anxiety.

Learning new coping skills, like problem-solving or emotional regulation, helps manage stress rather than using maladaptive behaviors as harmful crutches.​

Awareness is the first step toward replacing harmful habits with healthier, adaptive alternatives. Recognizing certain types of maladaptive behavior can help you spot negative patterns impacting your own or a child’s life. One way to discover whether behavior is maladaptive is by using the research-backed UPPS Impulsive Behavior Scale, which measures factors like urgency, lack of premeditation, lack of perseverance, and sensation-seeking.

Some other common maladaptive behavior examples include:

• Avoidance: Avoiding social events makes learning social skills hard and isolation harder. This can include maladaptive daydreaming, or vivid daydreams that often last for hours at a time and elicit strong emotions.
• Non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI): Cutting or burning yourself to cope with emotional pain.
• Substance abuse: Developing an addiction to alcohol or drugs to escape problems.
• Compulsive behaviors: Excessive checking or washing to reduce anxiety.
• Procrastination: Constantly delaying tasks due to fear of failure, leading to poor performance.
• Aggression: Reacting with anger or violence in stressful situations, which can damage relationships.
• Binge eating: Consuming large amounts of food in response to stress or negative emotions. 
• Overworking: Continuously working long hours to avoid personal issues.
• People-pleasing: Constantly saying yes to others, even at personal expense, to avoid conflict.
• Rumination: Obsessively overthinking about past mistakes or worries, increasing anxiety.
• Withdrawing: Isolating yourself from friends and family due to depression.
• Denial: Refusing to acknowledge personal issues, such as addiction or relationship problems.
• Hyper-vigilance: Showing excessive caution or freezing up in social situations.
• Boundary testing: Consistently using trying behavior meant to test people’s acceptance limits.

Maladaptive behaviors usually have roots in some personality traits developed after trauma, a stressful environment, or from genetics. 

Personality traits related to maladaptive coping behavior develop over time based on your genes and environment. These traits may include impulsivity, learned helplessness, anxiety, hostility, or perfectionism.

Childhood trauma like neglect, abuse, or an unstable environment may result in harmful habits. These habits are reinforced over time as a child learns impulsive responses to help them gain control of a situation. For example, a student who finds that they’re no longer made fun of when they threaten physical violence could develop anger and aggression as maladaptive behaviors.

Once you’ve identified maladaptive behavior, you can take proactive steps to improve your emotional well-being and become more resilient. 

These eight tactics can help you manage your emotional response in stressful or uncomfortable situations to cope without harming yourself or others.

1. Deep reflection

Deep self-reflection can help you explore emotions and triggers associated with maladaptive behavior. While you reflect, pay special attention to the thoughts and emotions that caused your behavior in the first place. 

Perhaps you often react defensively in conflicts with loved ones, and it’s putting a strain on your relationship with your family. When reflecting, you might consider why you need to defend yourself immediately. You may pinpoint an experience that triggered the pattern, which can help you practice pausing before it occurs in the future.

Set small, achievable goals, like counting to five, before you respond to a loved one during a conflict in the future. Reflecting and setting goals can support ongoing progress and reinforce positive changes. 

2. Hold yourself accountable

Once you’ve set goals, keep yourself accountable for achieving them. When you hold yourself accountable, you’re more likely to try to correct your behavior in the future and develop healthier coping skills.

For example, avoiding social interactions because of anxiety might result in you setting a goal to gradually tackle smaller, manageable social situations each day. Tracking your progress is crucial. Keep a journal or use apps to track your progress and reflect.

3. Build a strong support network

Having other people hold you accountable is also a powerful way to enforce change in your behavior. Share your goals with a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist who can provide feedback and encouragement. 

Regular check-ins with whomever you choose create an added layer of accountability. They’ll also help you celebrate small victories or adjust your approach if necessary.

One study reported by BMC Psychiatry shows that personal support networks, like family, friends, and even professional contacts, play a crucial role in managing mental health. Those relationships provide validation, encouragement, and a sense of belonging, making it easier to maintain healthier habits and behaviors over time.

4. Seek cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

CBT is a well-established therapy technique that helps people identify and change negative thought patterns. It focuses on developing healthy coping skills to deal with stress and involves challenging irrational beliefs and reframing them into balanced, realistic thoughts.

For example, an intern might procrastinate on their work because they believe “I’ll never do this well, so why start?” CBT would encourage them to identify this avoidance and the underlying negative thought pattern. 

A therapist may challenge this belief by suggesting they reframe the thought to, “I don’t have to be perfect. Starting is more important.” As they challenge their negative thoughts, the intern may begin to complete assignments on time and overcome their maladaptive behavior of procrastination.

5. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is increasingly recognized in neuropsychology for its effects on brain regions associated with attention and awareness. It provides relief from repetitive ruminating thoughts and can improve coping with mental health problems.

The same study found mindfulness-based interventions (MBIs) can significantly reduce maladaptive behaviors like cravings, stress, and negative affectivity. This study specifically addressed people with alcohol and drug use disorders.

When you’re mindful, you observe internal experiences (like automatic negative thoughts) without judgment. This creates space between your feelings and actions, allowing you to make more intentional and adaptive choices. 

Maybe you turn to food when feeling stressed. Through practicing mindfulness, you start paying attention to your physical and emotional state when the urge to eat arises. Instead of automatically reaching for snacks, you take a moment to observe your feelings of stress and anxiety without reacting. 

This mindful pause allows you to recognize the urge as a maladaptive coping response to your anxiety rather than a signal to eat. Over time, this practice helps you respond with healthier alternatives. You may choose alternatives, such as mindful breathing or taking a walk, to break the cycle of emotional eating.

6. Consider behavioral activation

Behavioral activation encourages you to engage in positive activities that counteract avoidance and withdrawal. First, you identify rewarding activities. Then, you set achievable goals and increase engagement in these activities to build positive reinforcement. 

If you procrastinate exercising, behavioral activation might start with setting a tiny, achievable goal, like doing a five-minute stretch each morning. This small, manageable action helps build momentum, gradually increasing engagement with physical activity. Over time, you may replace the maladaptive behavior of inactivity with a regular exercise routine.

7. Train yourself to problem-solve

Developing problem-solving skills helps you learn to approach problems systematically, reduce feelings of helplessness, and take constructive action.

The process typically includes defining the problem, brainstorming solutions, evaluating the pros and cons of each option, choosing one, and implementing it.

If you struggle with chronic lateness, problem-solving training might involve identifying the cause, such as poor time management. You could then brainstorm solutions, like setting an earlier alarm or preparing items the night before, to help develop better habits.

8. Use cognitive reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal is a coping skill that changes the way you interpret events by reframing them in a more positive light. This helps reduce the impact of stressful situations, decreasing reliance on maladaptive behaviors like rumination or catastrophizing.

Suppose you often get angry during traffic jams. Cognitive reappraisal involves reframing the situation. Use this as an opportunity to listen to your favorite motivational podcast rather than viewing the traffic as a personal inconvenience. This tactic can help you manage your emotions more adaptively. If you can reframe the situation, you have time to consciously choose not to act with maladaptive behavior.

Working with a coach can provide the support you need to identify triggers, develop healthier coping strategies, and stay accountable on your journey to change. BetterUp Coaches are skilled in helping you overcome fear and anxiety to achieve greater well-being. 

Start your journey with a BetterUp Coach today to live more fully and confidently and overcome maladaptive behaviors.