Ruminating thoughts: What they are and 12 tips to overcome them

Why did I make that mistake? Why did I say that? Why can’t I ever get anything right?

Most people have had these powerful negative thoughts, often after something goes wrong. These can go away with time — but sometimes, they play over and over again in your head, even after the problem you’re thinking about has gone away.

If you’ve ever had a negative thought stuck in a loop, you’ve experienced ruminating thoughts. Many people encounter rumination occasionally, especially after going through a difficult event or emotional experience. But these kinds of thought patterns can affect some people more seriously.

Understanding what ruminating is and learning effective coping strategies can help you manage these thoughts to create more positive thinking patterns.

What is rumination?

Ruminating thoughts are excessive or obsessive thoughts about negative feelings and experiences. These often incorrect ideas usually center on something you did or said and can contribute to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. It could come in the form of all-or-nothing thinking, automatic negative thoughts, or any kind of repetitive overthinking you tend to experience. 

A study from the Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment differentiates rumination, reflection, and brooding, with the latter two as subcomponents of rumination. Reflection refers to the act of thinking through a past event, while brooding involves dwelling on a negative mood. Brooding is usually the practice that contributes to rumination’s negative effects because it can magnify harmful emotions and make it difficult to let go.

Ruminative thinking can be an issue for people with depressive symptoms who experience repetitive self-defeating and negative thoughts. Depressive rumination can include feelings of pessimism, according to a study from the International Journal of Mental Health Systems. It also says that excessive rumination can aggravate depression both in people who are otherwise mentally healthy and people who already live with it.

As well, a study from The Journal of Psychology affirmed that rumination is often a principal sign of anxiety. People experiencing rumination anxiety might ruminate on specific fears or more general issues, searching for things that could go wrong. 

2. Phobias and fears

For people who have phobias, ruminative thoughts generally relate to the object of their fear, according to a study from Scientific Reports. They might have trouble regulating their emotions and be prone to self-blame around their triggers. If you have a fear of public speaking, you might overthink a presentation at work for hours after, even if it went well.

3. Perfectionism

The 2015 book Perfectionism, Health, and Well-Being says that rumination can play a key role in perfectionism. If you’re a perfectionist, you might ruminate on times you think you’ve fallen short of your personal standards. You may find yourself replaying the ways you’ve made small mistakes or done less than your best, which can worsen stress.

Extreme rumination can overwhelm your life, so finding the right coping strategies to break the cycle of negative thoughts requires commitment. The first step is to understand what causes you to turn to repetitive negative thought patterns — whether that’s anxiety, past trauma, or stress. If you’re having a hard time navigating this on your own, turning to a mental health professional is the best option.

While you work on coping strategies with a professional, you can also practice these tips when ruminating thoughts arise. Here are some things to try while you learn how to stop ruminating:

1. Distract yourself

If you notice that you’ve begun to ruminate, try to break away from your thought processes by doing something to distract you. This can be as simple as calling a loved one to talk about your day or choosing a movie to watch. If you have hobbies, focus on them — even if you don’t feel like doing so in the moment. Sometimes, just a few minutes of distraction can pull you away from those repetitive thoughts that impact your mood.

Here are some ways you could distract yourself from rumination:

• Doing chores around the house
• Spending time outdoors 
• Talking to a friend about something else
• Reading a book 
• Watching a TV show that comforts you
• Spending quality time with family 
• Working on a personal project

2. Exercise

Exercise can both distract you from overthinking and give you the chance to make your body feel better. Physical activity helps with the release of feel-good hormones and can help you maintain or improve your mental health. 

By jogging, cycling, or working out in a gym, you also enter a new environment, which could be the thing you need to change your mindset in the moment. You could also find an accountability buddy who encourages you to get active, even when you don’t feel like it.

3. Turn to loved ones

If you have ruminating thoughts, you may feel isolated from others or like you can’t share how you’re feeling. Loneliness can have a big impact on your mental health and stress levels. Spending time with family, friends, and loved ones could make you feel less alone when you’re stuck in a cycle of overthinking.

By turning to the people around you, you can also get outside perspectives that can help you break through negative thought cycles. And human connection builds resilience and contributes to your overall life satisfaction.

4. Try rumination-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

Rumination-focused CBT is a proven way to stop ruminating, according to a study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies. This is a type of CBT that centers around preventing rumination and can help reduce residual depressive symptoms if you’re coping with mental health challenges.

This type of therapy combines CBT principles, like recognizing negative thought patterns and working to change them, with visualization, imagery, and techniques that aim to build self-compassion. It can help you understand that your thoughts influence your moods — and even your behavior — while giving you the tools to make an action plan toward healing. 

If CBT is something you think might help you, talk to a mental health professional about what your options are.

5. Learn to love yourself

Many people who ruminate also struggle with self-confidence issues, and rumination and low self-esteem are deeply connected. Working on your self-perception could remind you that past mistakes or events don’t have to define you and that you’re bigger than your negative thoughts.

Although boosting self-esteem can seem difficult, you can start small. Try journaling and making a list of things you love about yourself, challenging any ruminating thoughts that rear their heads. Ask friends and family to describe you and show yourself that other people don’t see you in the same negative light. Let go of any people with toxic traits who don’t make you feel your best.

6. Meditate

Mindfulness practices like meditation aim to clear your mind and ground you in the present, helping you manage the thoughts causing you harm. 

For some people, meditation works best when they’re doing an action. This can be something like writing down your ruminative thoughts or repeating a particular phrase to help manage the anxiety that can come with them. You can also try listening to guided meditations or try mindful breathing to bring you into the present and away from rumination. 

7. Understand your triggers

When you notice yourself ruminating, make a note of the time of day, who you’re with, and what you were doing before the rumination began. These notes can provide clues as to what may have triggered you, helping you prevent it in the future.

Maybe you ruminate often about your work performance, assuming that your coworkers don’t regard you highly or think of you as an imposter. You might note that you ruminate the most after meetings or social interactions at work, which shows you that talking to others can trigger your rumination. And once you know that, you can focus on approaching those interactions with a more positive, reflective mindset.

8. Readjust goals

Perfectionism might seem harmless, but it’s a maladaptive practice, which means those unrealistic expectations could negatively impact you. And it can become a serious issue if it leads to repetitive thoughts that affect your mood. 

Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, whether at work or in life, try letting yourself make mistakes and avoiding unrealistic goals. Focus on the meaning of what you’re doing instead of the result. And avoid the negative influences that make you feel like you need to be perfect, like hustle culture or a micromanaging boss.

9. Prepare for worst-case scenarios

If your ruminations focus on fears or worries about what could happen, it can help to think about the worst-case scenarios. Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?” Then, write down the entire scenario to see how it would all play out. Explore the steps you’d take if that fear came to pass. The situation is likely more manageable than you thought, and you can begin a more positive and productive thought pattern.

Maybe your greatest fear is letting people down, and you have lots of responsibility for an upcoming project at work. Write down the possible risks — going over budget, missing a deliverable, or forgetting to communicate an important memo — and think of how you’d solve those problems step-by-step. By picturing the entire process, you might see how to manage the fear and thwart rumination. 

10. Let yourself feel

It’s tempting to push down ruminating thoughts when they arise. But they can be the symptom of a larger challenge, like a mental health issue or an emotional situation you haven’t yet processed. Pay attention to when those thoughts come up and where they stem from. By recognizing and coming to terms with uncomfortable emotions, you can reduce the frequency or potency of the intrusive ruminations.

11. Know what you can control

When you don’t have any control over a particular scenario, your mind can continue to play it over, trying to find some way of exerting some authority. Instead, focus on the things you do have the power to change, channeling that emotional energy toward action.

Maybe you have a job interview coming up but think you’re unworthy of landing the position. Because you can’t control the outcome, your mind starts ruminating on all the ways it could go wrong. Instead, focus on what you can control, like the pre-interview prep, to increase your confidence and recalibrate your thoughts.

12. Turn to positive affirmations

If you’re struggling through a negative thought cycle, keeping a positive mental attitude might seem impossible. But it can be helpful to focus on a few affirmations to boost your mood and counteract negativity.

Try some positive affirmations that go against what your thoughts are telling you, such as:

• I do my best, which is good enough.
• I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.
• I trust myself to make the right choices.
• I allow myself to make mistakes because they help me grow.
• I love and accept myself.

Dealing with ruminative thoughts now and then doesn’t necessarily mean you need to turn to professional help. But if you find yourself struggling to get through your day, or if you have to engage in complex rituals to manage negative thoughts, it’s time to seek help. 

Speaking to a mental health professional is never a sign of weakness. It shows you’re dedicated to self-improvement and self-care. If reaching out to a therapist or counselor feels like too big of a step for you, ask for help from a trusted friend. They might help you think through what’s going on and point you in the right direction.

Ruminative thoughts aren’t necessarily the symptom of something bigger. Sometimes, a bad job interview or a negative experience with a friend could spark overthinking that goes away with time, and it’s okay to want to be alone with your thoughts. But if your thought patterns are harming your daily routine, start looking for ways to cope — whether that’s trying some mindfulness exercises or speaking to a therapist.

Take the power away from your ruminating thoughts and disrupt your negative thinking processes. Focus on the things you can control. You can strengthen your hold on the present, avoid focusing on past struggles, and look toward a healthier future.